basket case

count you blessings, name them one by one.

It's important to just keep trying.
stay hungry, stay foolish.

let's talk about people.

people are really just out for themselves.

Let's do service, so WE can FEEL GOOD about it. ya know?
I'm not sure if there is such a thing as a self-less act.

Like I prefer to be nice to people because it makes ME feel better. Peace feels better. Caring, love, kindness feels better, feels right.

Greed/lust/jelousy. They're uncomfortable, but they're still emotions, which is more interesting than being numb. I guess.

would you rather feel pain or feel nothing at all. to be or not to be. bleh.

so OPPOSITION is something I'm grateful for. I'm grateful I can feel pain so I can understand pleasure. Or failure so I can understand success. Or losing so I can understand winning. Or Rejection, so I can understand LOVE. :'(

It makes that ONE sale of the day so amazing.
After knocking for hours, happy and excited and smiling on each door, to every dissapointed-because-it's-a-salesman face, and then catching this one person's attention, this ONE person's attention, who's, wait a minute, not mad, not annoyed, but actually HAPPY I stopped by, inviting me in their warm house, offers me some cake, thanking me as I leave for saving them around $240 over the next year on their tv bill.

all the others, I still forgive them, they no not what they do. ;)


It's cold outside. I go back to my car, and cry. I haven't cried in a while. crying feels good. Gangsters can cry when it's appropriate. This weeks been a little mentally and emotionally draining. The universe rewards those who simply persist.

Like magic, the universe will reward you if you put in enough effort. I don't know.

There are some people I talk to like once a year. I remain friends with them still. It's odd. some people I talk to like once every 6 months. some people...once a month. some people like once every other day on average. I don't think there is ONE person I can say I talk to every single day no matter what.

and ya know these stats change and swtich and very over time. I use to see my mom every single day growing up. that's changed. She still calls me like once a week just to check up on me. Wow. I just, uuhh, I'm like starting to cry as I type this. no joke. It's like when I think about my mom for too long, and just how she's the nicest person I know, and just about how wonderful my life is because of her, It really...moves me. It's actually really easy to type while you cry. wow. what is wrong with me? no joke..

whenever I get a little depressed, I think about my mom and how fortunate I am to have two loving parents. After recognizing that fact, nothings really that bad.


love you mum.